Why are you not here? I’m sitting here waiting on the doctor’s report. Why are you not here? I am sitting, waiting, and watching our child take slow shallow breaths, why are you not here? I haven’t gotten much sleep from monitoring every breath that our child takes, why are you not here? You’ve been informed of our child’s condition but yet it’s only me here. This is my first experience of a hospital admittance with our child and I’m a little afraid but I have to be strong for our child, why are you not here? I try to rest but I can’t help but listen to the beeping monitors and hear the nurses rotating in and out of the room. Why are you not here? Is it because you feel that they are in good hands? Is it because you feel that I can handle it on my own? Is it because you can’t? Do you even know that you should be here? These were the feelings and questions I had, but until I stopped asking questions and listened to the still small voice, I was able to see who was there. I realized I was never alone. God was with me holding my hand, from the nurses in and out the room, from the family coming to visit every day, from the phone call giving me directions on how the treatment will go. I didn’t have all the answers and that’s okay, but I know the moment I realized who was there, I stop asking why you are not here. Maybe God wanted to show me his strength is made perfect in my weakness and for that I am thankful.